before i sleep..

have miles to go..or..

I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep

thats Robert Frost from STOPPING BY WOODS ON A SNOWY EVENING..but don't worry..tonight I am not going to remind you your high school english curriculum..this post is to state one of the prime thoughts that dwell within before i sleep..

ever since those hot summer afternoons..when the school has closed down..forced by ma would lie down on the cot below the speeding ceiling fan..the blades exhibiting a collective "motion" & "anti-motion" ( due to the finite persistence of vision of the eye and blah blah..)..fresh from an unsuccessful negotiation with ma about an afternoon cum evening grand cricket match..as i nurse the wounds of the turned down plea and hit the ball for a six in my daydream, I would wait for the Sleep to come. It was one of my initial pursuasion that has not bore fruit yet.

Always found the process of sleeping very boring..to lay inactive for hours..hell lot of time wasted..one fine day had a novel idea to spice up sleeping..!!..i shall wait to note the time when i sleep!!..thus began my "eager patience"..amidst all the cricket daydreams..a part of me would be on strict vigil..waiting for the magical transformation of the mind...when the thoughts no more arose like bubbles in the bucket water..when the sea has pacified...but..alas..was never lucky...could never manage to welcome Sleep!!..

sooner than later did I learn to live with the failure..more than being angry or impatient..started enjoying this helplessness..inability..and the helplessness turned into a routine with no exception....

its time for one more failure..but now I dont try..Goodnight..I will go to sleep

our politicians are at it again..

after the Ailaa..its now the full moon tides that are supposed to hit the Sunderbans on the night of June 6-7..and the bureaucracy-government-opposition trio has done enough to make matters worse..according to the news report..

"In the four days the army was involved in rescue and relief in the Sunderbans, a small force of just 200 men saved the lives of over 1000 people. But for some strange reason the state government removed them from the operation on May 29. Had the military been kept on the job and asked to repair the embankments, tens of thousands of Sunderbans villagers wouldn't be staring at a second devastation. "

"The state's huge bumbling machinery messed up the relief operations. Now, when it has thrown up its hands in surrender, saying the breaches cannot be repaired before the full moon tide hits on the night of June 6-7, it has again turned to the army and even the navy for relief, medical care and repair of embankments. But it may already be too late. "

and here's the worst part..

"The government's initial decision to deinduct the army and air force in a hurry could have been prompted by the Mamata Banerjee factor and to show that the state government was competent enough to tackle the situation. The railway minister had claimed she was the first to contact the defence minister for army and air force assistance."

will someone please tell them that the elections are just over..its okay if they take some rest and fight only inside the Writers during the House hours and leave the army to do its job for good..!!

the conversation

was there in the shop for a shaving blade..one of those all in 1 shop so common in campuses...5 and a half ft tall..around 70 kilos..stout figure..must be in his early 40s..greets me with a trimmed moustache as i enter..

"shaving blade" and my right hand goes up with an imaginary blade held between the index and the thumb..

he gets the plastic blade bottle and puts in front for me to choose..

"7 o clock nehi hay kya?"..(always saw father using them..those images of the black & white wrapper..super platinum..whizz pass everytime i look for a shaving blade )

"nehi...woh khatam ho gaya hai..wilkinson hai"

"okay..then i'll take one..hmmm"..want to make sure i dont forget..somehow hate coming to these stationery shops..try to take things at one go"ek dabur vatika hair oil de dijiye aur ek surf excel"

"surf excel abhi nehi hai...sham ko aayega..main kuch din hospital me tha..aaj hi dukan khula"..

"aap hospital me admitted the?"..he nods and waits for the obvious question..for a second i thought he looks nervous..let me not bother him by further health queries..but couldn't resist.."kyu..aap ko kya hua tha?"

he frowns a bit and bends up his left hand to place the palm over his left chest..he meant to point at the heart i supposed..he did not even have the courage to utter..this was enough for me..no more interrogation..stop troubling the poor soul and move out..

as he returns the change

"aagar kisika 102 hota hai to main bolta hu aap baad me 2 rupai dena..par jab kisika 98 hota hai..aur mere pas aagar change nehi hai to ek shampoo sashay ya toffee denge..to student bolte hai ki mujhe toffee nehi chahiye..shampoo nehi chahiye...mere pas hota to main de deta...main sochta hu sabse thik se behaviour karna.."..puts his palm in front.."dekhiye haat ke paanch ungli alag hai..aur woh zaroori bhi hain.."..folds his palm such that all the fingers appear of the same length"..nehi to aap kha nehi payenge"

not sure what is going on....i nod...is he in a preaching mood..or had a bad morning..some rude customer..or the visit to the hospital ( that too regarding matters of the heart ) have made him a serious thinker
i nodded..thought the 'paanch ungli' demo was quite nice..it was a welcome comical relief to the otherwise serious discourse....then comes the second innings..

"dekhiye aap jo karte hain woh madat nehi hain..duty hain..madat to sirf woh karta hai jiske paas bahut hai aur woh to sirf God hai..aap bohut hard work karke exam me 90 layenge...usse kuch farak nehi parega..par teacher jo 3-4 marks grace denge wohi kaam ko aayega..aap ka career hi badal ja sakta hai..aur woh God ne teacher ko message diya aapko grace marks dene ke liye....dkehiye aadmi aagar bolega nehi to woh bohut kharaap hain..woh aapne andar ka baat bol dega..to usko achcha lage ga..isiliye hum aapko bol rahe hain..."

so there you are..its the aftermath of the hospital visit..fine..i nod...forward my right leg towards the door..

"God lekin same hain...jisko leprosy hua hain..woh Mother Teresa ke pas..church me jayegai..woh nehi bolega ki woh Hindu hain ya musalman hain, isiliye nehi jayega...upar me saab dikhata hain ki aapas me bohut gussa hain..par wakt bura ane pe woh sab chala jata hain..usko tab madat chahiye"

"i am a man of simple thinking and simple living..main fauj me tha pehle..tab bohut hard tha..civil me aane ke baad main socha mujhe narm hoke milna chahiye sabse..nahi mujhe politics me interest hain na films mein..manhoman singh aapka PM..aap use pehchante ho..uske paas aap ka kuch hain?..woh aap ko pehchanta hain??..photo hain aapka uske paas??.."

"nehi"

"fir!!...kya fayeda politcs mein..??..cinema ban raha hai..woh log karoro ka income kar raha hain..hume kya milta hain??..kuch nahi.."..i nod

" dekhiye abhi aap se baat hua..main itna kuch bola..achcha lag raha hain...logo ke bich relationship to aisai hain..abhi koi humesha ke liye nehi rahega..to jitne din raho..pyaar se raho..aaram se raho"

at last a customer enters..and i bid him goodbye..

walking back.....i kept wondering why he spoke all this to me..most probably its the hospital visit...

so that was my try at reporting an incident in a 'novel style'..have written enough for today i guess..goodnight..got some pending work on mathematica guys...