was there in the shop for a shaving blade..one of those all in 1 shop so common in campuses...5 and a half ft tall..around 70 kilos..stout figure..must be in his early 40s..greets me with a trimmed moustache as i enter..
"shaving blade" and my right hand goes up with an imaginary blade held between the index and the thumb..
he gets the plastic blade bottle and puts in front for me to choose..
"7 o clock nehi hay kya?"..(always saw father using them..those images of the black & white wrapper..super platinum..whizz pass everytime i look for a shaving blade )
"nehi...woh khatam ho gaya hai..wilkinson hai"
"okay..then i'll take one..hmmm"..want to make sure i dont forget..somehow hate coming to these stationery shops..try to take things at one go"ek dabur vatika hair oil de dijiye aur ek surf excel"
"surf excel abhi nehi hai...sham ko aayega..main kuch din hospital me tha..aaj hi dukan khula"..
"aap hospital me admitted the?"..he nods and waits for the obvious question..for a second i thought he looks nervous..let me not bother him by further health queries..but couldn't resist.."kyu..aap ko kya hua tha?"
he frowns a bit and bends up his left hand to place the palm over his left chest..he meant to point at the heart i supposed..he did not even have the courage to utter..this was enough for me..no more interrogation..stop troubling the poor soul and move out..
as he returns the change
"aagar kisika 102 hota hai to main bolta hu aap baad me 2 rupai dena..par jab kisika 98 hota hai..aur mere pas aagar change nehi hai to ek shampoo sashay ya toffee denge..to student bolte hai ki mujhe toffee nehi chahiye..shampoo nehi chahiye...mere pas hota to main de deta...main sochta hu sabse thik se behaviour karna.."..puts his palm in front.."dekhiye haat ke paanch ungli alag hai..aur woh zaroori bhi hain.."..folds his palm such that all the fingers appear of the same length"..nehi to aap kha nehi payenge"
not sure what is going on....i nod...is he in a preaching mood..or had a bad morning..some rude customer..or the visit to the hospital ( that too regarding matters of the heart ) have made him a serious thinker
i nodded..thought the 'paanch ungli' demo was quite nice..it was a welcome comical relief to the otherwise serious discourse....then comes the second innings..
"dekhiye aap jo karte hain woh madat nehi hain..duty hain..madat to sirf woh karta hai jiske paas bahut hai aur woh to sirf God hai..aap bohut hard work karke exam me 90 layenge...usse kuch farak nehi parega..par teacher jo 3-4 marks grace denge wohi kaam ko aayega..aap ka career hi badal ja sakta hai..aur woh God ne teacher ko message diya aapko grace marks dene ke liye....dkehiye aadmi aagar bolega nehi to woh bohut kharaap hain..woh aapne andar ka baat bol dega..to usko achcha lage ga..isiliye hum aapko bol rahe hain..."
so there you are..its the aftermath of the hospital visit..fine..i nod...forward my right leg towards the door..
"God lekin same hain...jisko leprosy hua hain..woh Mother Teresa ke pas..church me jayegai..woh nehi bolega ki woh Hindu hain ya musalman hain, isiliye nehi jayega...upar me saab dikhata hain ki aapas me bohut gussa hain..par wakt bura ane pe woh sab chala jata hain..usko tab madat chahiye"
"i am a man of simple thinking and simple living..main fauj me tha pehle..tab bohut hard tha..civil me aane ke baad main socha mujhe narm hoke milna chahiye sabse..nahi mujhe politics me interest hain na films mein..manhoman singh aapka PM..aap use pehchante ho..uske paas aap ka kuch hain?..woh aap ko pehchanta hain??..photo hain aapka uske paas??.."
"nehi"
"fir!!...kya fayeda politcs mein..??..cinema ban raha hai..woh log karoro ka income kar raha hain..hume kya milta hain??..kuch nahi.."..i nod
" dekhiye abhi aap se baat hua..main itna kuch bola..achcha lag raha hain...logo ke bich relationship to aisai hain..abhi koi humesha ke liye nehi rahega..to jitne din raho..pyaar se raho..aaram se raho"
at last a customer enters..and i bid him goodbye..
walking back.....i kept wondering why he spoke all this to me..most probably its the hospital visit...
so that was my try at reporting an incident in a 'novel style'..have written enough for today i guess..goodnight..got some pending work on mathematica guys...
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