before i sleep..

have miles to go..or..

I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep

thats Robert Frost from STOPPING BY WOODS ON A SNOWY EVENING..but don't worry..tonight I am not going to remind you your high school english curriculum..this post is to state one of the prime thoughts that dwell within before i sleep..

ever since those hot summer afternoons..when the school has closed down..forced by ma would lie down on the cot below the speeding ceiling fan..the blades exhibiting a collective "motion" & "anti-motion" ( due to the finite persistence of vision of the eye and blah blah..)..fresh from an unsuccessful negotiation with ma about an afternoon cum evening grand cricket match..as i nurse the wounds of the turned down plea and hit the ball for a six in my daydream, I would wait for the Sleep to come. It was one of my initial pursuasion that has not bore fruit yet.

Always found the process of sleeping very boring..to lay inactive for hours..hell lot of time wasted..one fine day had a novel idea to spice up sleeping..!!..i shall wait to note the time when i sleep!!..thus began my "eager patience"..amidst all the cricket daydreams..a part of me would be on strict vigil..waiting for the magical transformation of the mind...when the thoughts no more arose like bubbles in the bucket water..when the sea has pacified...but..alas..was never lucky...could never manage to welcome Sleep!!..

sooner than later did I learn to live with the failure..more than being angry or impatient..started enjoying this helplessness..inability..and the helplessness turned into a routine with no exception....

its time for one more failure..but now I dont try..Goodnight..I will go to sleep